You guys. Let’s have a little chat on forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard. It isn’t easy and I truly believe it wasn’t meant to be easy. I believe Heavenly Father asks us to forgive because he is trying to free our souls.
We have all been wronged, we’ve all been hurt, we’ve all laughed at the thought of forgiving someone who we see as unforgivable. Okay, maybe you haven’t, but I certainly have!
Let’s get real for a second. When I was going through my divorce the last thing I ever wanted to do was even think about the thought of forgiveness. Of forgiving those who I felt wronged by. There was no way I was about to offer any forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it. Others didn’t deserve it. No one deserved my forgiveness. I let pride stand in the way, but in the end I was only hurting myself.
Do you know what that did to me? It made me walk around carrying so much anger in my heart. So much fear so much sadness, so much turmoil in my heart. I’ll be honest, yeah I was happier when I left but there was still something holding me back. It was all that anger.
Well it wasn’t until we had a lesson at church about forgiveness that I learned a whole new side of forgiveness that I never knew existed.
Forgiveness is forgiving someone so that you can be set free from the bonds that are chaining you down. Forgiving someone is allowing you to move on and feel bad for those that felt it necessary to wrong you. Forgiveness is removing Satan and allowing Heavenly Father and the spirit back in.
Guys, this was a game changer! Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are saying that what they did is okay, and that you agree with it! Forgiveness is truly for ourselves! No one wants to live with such hatred and anger in their hearts. At least I know that I don’t!
I think it’s also important to remember to be easy on ourselves. Am I willing to just forgive those overnight? No, but I truly believe the Lord sees and recognizes our progress. One baby step forward is a step in the right direction. I don’t think he expects us to forgive overnight but he’s expecting progression.
If you find it hard to forgive someone, get on your knees and pray. Pray for those that wronged you. Let Heavenly Father do the judging, it’s not our responsibility. We need to remember that he is our protector and he is constantly looking out for us. Let him protect us. Let him serve “justice” where it needs to be served.
But for ourselves. We deserve to live. I deserve to live free of all the pain and anger that was built up. I deserve to move on. And I deserve happiness. I deserve love. I deserve to smile. I deserve to be free from the constant angry thoughts in my head. And so do you.
Let’s talk about the part of forgiveness no one likes to talk about. Forgiving OURSELVES. We are our own worst critics. We tear ourselves apart, we beat ourselves up, we compare, we tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Why? You think Heavenly Father wants that for you? No! So forgive yourself! Stop being so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself!
May we always remember our ultimate example of forgiveness. Our Savior , Jesus Christ. He was dying on the cross and literally asked for forgiveness for those who wronged him because they knew not what they had done. Like how incredible is that example!
Forgiveness is hard. Trust me. I’m slowly and when I say slowly I mean SLOWLY am working on forgiveness in my life. Not only forgiving others but forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for lying to those around me for almost a year to try and protect someone, for beating myself up everyday, for being a “fake happy jay”, for having thoughts that I did about my own life, and so much more. But everyday is one day closer to fully being able to offer forgiveness to others and to myself, and everyday is a step in the right direction.
I hope you can reflect on forgiveness in your own life and see where forgiveness needs to be made. I’m not there, but the small progress I’ve made has made some of the biggest changes in my life!
Love to you all,
-jay.
