Sunday, October 21, 2018

“Behold the Man”



We had a lesson today in church that really stuck with me. It’s resonated with me and has made me do some deep down soul searching. The talk I’ll be referencing and talking about was given in our 2018 April general conference given by Dieter F Uchtdorf entitled, “Behold the Man”.

You guys are brother Jesus Christ is incredible. The most significant day we’ve ever seen was that day 2000 years ago where Jesus Christ bore our sins, hung on the cross, died and resurrected for all of us. For me individually. He died for me , and he died for you. 

One part of this that really stuck with me was thinking about the fact that even if we choose not to acknowledge or don’t really want to partake in repenting for our sins, it doesn’t matter. Jesus already paid the sins. He paid the sins knowing that we may not fully accept or follow his teachings. I found myself trying to really grasping that concept. That’s like me baking cookies for everyone and if you choose not to partake in it, I already have baked the cookies so they will almost just go to waste. 

Pause. Reflect on that. Do i really want to waste my older Brother Jesus Christ’s’ sacrifice by not repenting or by not acknowledging this incredible sacrifice that he gave to each and every one of us. Does he cross our mind on a daily basis or is our mind to caught up in the latest gossip, newest debate on Facebook, etc. I’m guilty. And that’s why I think this lesson was so important for me to here and I hope that I will be able to improve every single day

Elder Uchtdorf states,
“In spite of all this, there are many in the world today who are either not aware of or do not believe in the precious gift Jesus Christ has given us. They may have heard of Jesus Christ and know of Him as a historical figure, but they do not see Him for who He truly is”

I encourage you to take a step back and really analyze your life. Is Jesus Christ a historical figure to you? Or is he your older brother? Is he the prince of peace? Do you recognize him for the incredible sacrifice that he gave to each and every one of us? 

In our lives do we “behold the man?” Do we soak it all in, or do we just touch the brim. Has there ever been a time in your life where you beheld the man? Where you felt his loving arms around you? Where you felt his love for you so deeply? 

When I was going through my divorce I felt like the biggest failure. I felt like I failed myself, my covenants with my Heavenly Father, my family, my friends, people around me, I had failed. I would cry at the thought of having to tell Hunter one day what happened. I would cry feeling like I let so many people down. The only comfort I could find is when I was on my knees praying to my Savior. 

It was as if he spoke to me and said, “you have not failed anyone, I love you, you only followed my plan for you, you have not failed because you listened to my guidance”.  It was then that I felt my Saviors love, all of it. I felt his love for me extend to a capacity I didn’t know exist. I knew that I did not fail him. 

It was then that I felt like I truly “beheld the man” I soaked in all of his love. I felt his loving arms around me. 

You guys Jesus Christ is not only my older brother but he’s yours. He died on that cross for you, he bore all the sins in Gethsemane, he bled from every pore, he knows you by name. He loves you and he can’t wait to physically hold us in his arms and protect us and comfort us. He’s not a historical figure, he’s my older brother. 


“So, when you are encompassed by sorrows and grief, behold the Man.
When you feel lost or forgotten, behold the Man.
When you are despairing, deserted, doubting, damaged, or defeated, behold the Man.
He will comfort you.
He will heal you and give meaning to your journey. He will pour out His Spirit and fill your heart with exceeding joy.
He gives “power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”

“I testify that the most important day in the history of mankind was the day when Jesus Christ, the living Son of God, won the victory over death and sin for all of God’s children. And the most important day in your life and mine is the day when we learn to “behold the man”; when we see Him for who He truly is; when we partake with all our heart and mind of His atoning power; when with renewed enthusiasm and strength, we commit to follow Him. May that be a day that recurs over and over again throughout our lives.”

Jesus climbed the hill to the garden still.
His steps were heavy and slow.
Love and a prayer took Him there
To the place only He could go.
Gethsemane. Jesus loves me,
So He went willingly to Gethsemane.
He felt all that was sad, wicked, or bad,
All the pain we would ever know.
While His friends were asleep, He fought to keep
His promise made long ago.
Gethsemane. Jesus loves me,
So He went willingly to Gethsemane.
The hardest thing that ever was done,
The greatest pain that ever was known,
The biggest battle that ever was won—
This was done by Jesus!
The fight was won by Jesus!
Gethsemane. Jesus loves me,
So He gave His gift to me in Gethsemane.
Gethsemane. Jesus loves me,
So He gives His gift to me from Gethsemane.


If you feel lost, broken or torn please get on your knees and pray. Pray to feel his love and I can say without a shadow of a doubt he will wrap his loving arms around you ❤️


-Jay 

Sunday, October 14, 2018

You are enough

You are enough. 

You are enough, and I hope you never forget that. In a world full of comparisons, judgements, and certain standards it’s hard to remember that we are truly enough. 

I feel like through this divorce I’ve “lost” a lot of good people in my life. And I put lost in quotation marks because they’ll always be there because they are just that good of human beings. 

My whole life I’ve struggled with not feeling enough. I’ve always felt like I’ve always had to put in more effort in friendships, relationships whatever it may be and almost have to force a reciprocation. Maybe I’m just not that cool. 

My problem is I just care. I care for my friends, my family, acquaintances. I feel for them and I will always be there whenever they need me. I’ve always played a poor me card that people don’t care as much as i do. But is that a bad thing? 

Is it a bad thing to be there for others? Is it bad that I can feel wronged but should someone need me I can’t say no? No because that’s me. And I’m imperfect and I’m human and I feel.

I’ve lost a lot of good people from feeling inadequate. From feeling like I’m not good enough for them, from feeling like they deserve so much better. I’ve said goodbye to a few because I didn’t feel worthy.

Satan is the worst. 

The truth is, is that we are all good enough and we all deserve so much love, peace and happiness. Get out of your own head. Take it from someone who can’t get out of their own head, you’re only going to wind up hurting yourself. You’re only going to wind up beating yourself up. 

I’m not perfect, and neither are you. We are all on this crazy ride together. Be nice to one another. Yes i have a past, yes I was married for 9 months before I couldn’t take anymore, yes I’m a single mom, yes my life is chaotic and busy and stressful, but it’s my beautiful life and I love it. 

This isn’t a poor me post either. I’m fully aware that it’s my own fault that I let a lot of good people exit my life based on my own insecurities. I hurt my own self by thinking others don’t care. 

I just wish and hope that you will never forget how amazing you are. That you can do hard things. That it’s okay to feel like you care more or put in more effort, it’s okay. All of these thoughts are perfectly okay and normal. Some days I just pray and wish that I could take me own advice. But that’s okay...

One day I’ll believe I’m enough. And I hope that day is soon for you when you won’t question, am I good enough?