Why I'm not just going on medical leave , but instead moving home.

I am starting this off by saying, this blog post is making me very vulnerable and I wasn't even sure if I should share this with the world, but I have hopes that it  might be something you need to read, and if you don't want a glimpse into my vulnerability, or what's going on in my life, perhaps this is where you go back to looking at your facebook news feed.

As some of you may know, I have an eye disease called Keratoconus. It is a progressive eye disease that will continue to progress, unless it gets stopped, and that is with surgery. I was diagnosed with this eye disease 3 years ago, and since than my eyes have gotten to a whopping -13.5. Making it very difficult to see out of glasses. You can ask my coworkers, I run in to everything, and have to ask them if they can find things, etc. It hasnt been fun, and it has been a trial in my life, but I can't wait for the day that I can see again!  While I was home a few weeks ago, I saw a specialist that highly advised I get the surgery as soon as possible. I was than stuck with  a decision of wether to go on medical leave and than come back, or move home, get the surgery and than see what adventure comes my way.

That is part 1 of my deciding progress.

For part 2, this is the longer of the two parts, and the vulnerable part.

As all or most of you know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In college I was Relief Society president, and went to the temple as often as possible, I would like to think I was as LDS as they come.  I was raised LDS, and can probably count on 2 hands how many times I have missed a sunday in 21 years of living.

Ever since working in the hotel industry, as many of you know, hotels never close. And since than, the number has flip flopped. I say this with a broken spirit, I can probably count on 2 hands how many times I have been to church in the past year in a half. It is so embarrasing to say. How could I go from as active as can be, to innactive?

In LA, I was right next to my best friend Shay, who encouraged me to go to FHE with her, and would try to find other ways to stay close to my Heavenly Father, since I was unable to go to church on Sundays. I would always go over to her home, and just being in a home where the spirit is so strong was so nice to be. Between her and her wonderful family I never felt the gospel slipping away. Plus, I was in the same state as my family, and their was a temple a few miles away. I just didn't feel inactive when I was working in Marina Del Rey.

When I moved to the Caymans, I knew the church was very small here, and I thought I could handle it. But the truth is the first 6 months or so, I felt myself slipping away. And unfortunately, I think Satan could see that and kept pulling and pulling. I wasn't saying my prayers, I was dressing immodestly, I wasn't reading my scriptures, and I wasn't sharing the gospel. I had felt like the light had gone out. I felt completely empty. Something was missing from my life.

It wasn't until November when the LDS church announced the news about the LGBT community not being able to be baptized, etc. I am not going to get in to it. But I made a comment on a news site standing up for what I knew deep down I believed in. Pretty soon I was in over my head, and people started telling me that  I was brainwashed, and that I worshipped an evil God, and all this garbage. But in the spite of that I got a few private messages, some from people I knew, some from strangers, thanking me for my courage to defend the LDS church, and how I was being an example. Those messages mean more to me than those people that wrote them to me will ever know. I am so grateful for each and every one of them. After that,  Something just clicked. I knew in my heart I wasn't slipping away, but my actions might have been percieved another way. I started reading my scriptures, praying and telling people at work that I was LDS, and talking to them about some things that I believe in. I still wasn't able to go to church, but I was trying.

While I was at home a few weeks ago,  after hearing about my eyes, I knew I had a tough decision to make. On that Saturday, I was able to attend a baptism of a perfect little 8 year old girl who made the choice to be baptized. I have babysat this girl and her sisters and brother for  6 years. While at the baptism, I think I cried the whole time. I felt something so warm and comforting and I knew that it was the spirit. It was something that I had been missing for a year in a half in my life. It felt so good to feel the spirit again and to feel of his infinite love for me. The next day, was fast Sunday, and I got up and bore my testimony, and it felt so good to be able to share my love for the gospel and for my Heavenly Father. I knew in that moment that I have a lot of work to do on myself.

It was then that I realized what I needed to do. I knew that i needed to come home, get the eye surgery and stay home. I love my job, I love what I do. But I also know that I love my family and the gospel of Jesus Christ more than my job. At this point in my life I need to be selfish and work on that aspect on my life.  I always tell people, the first two priorities in my life are my Family and the gospel. Those two things from now on have to come first. I can be dirt poor but as long as I have the gospel and my family, I can be eternally happy.

Coming back to the Island was bittersweet. Telling my Chef that I was resigning was one of the hardest things I had to do. I really look up to her. She is so talented and has been a huge help to me. We cried together in her office when the news was being shared. Telling my coworkers was no where short of easy as well. They have been like my second family here on this island. They will always hold a special place in my heart.

Everyone has asked why Im not just coming back after my recovery. People may not agree with my decision or think im silly for leaving such a wonderful company.  And the fact of the matter is, I need my family and I need the gospel. I am missing out on memories with my family and my sweet niece. And now that my sister is pregnant, I can't miss out on seeing another niece or nephew growing up. These are the moments that matter most to me. Being surrounded by loved ones and feeling the loving spirit of my Heavenly Father. I  never want to feel that emptiness every again. It is an awful feeling.

This is why I love the gospel and I am so thankful for the atonement. So imperfect people like me have another chance. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have had to live 10 months of my life on this beautiful island. I am so thankful for the experiences I have been able to go through. And as silly as it sounds, I am grateful that I was able to experience being innactive because I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I NEVER want to feel that again. My savior has blessed me with a beautiful family, a wonderful career, and now it is my turn to show my Heavenly Father how grateful I am for those blessings, by sharing the gospel,being active, and living my life as an example to all those around me.

So after I move home, spend a couple months there recovering and making memories with my family, I am 99% sure that I will be moving to Utah. I am not sure what the Lord has in store for me, but after many prayers, and thinking, I have never felt more right about a decision than moving to Utah. I can't wait to see what is in store for me there. And let's be honest, it wont be too hard to stay active with the church being so strong there. I cannot wait.

This was not an easy post to write about, and some may think it is too personal, but for me, I am not ashamed of what I went through. I know that we have to get through hard times to get to the better times. I am just grateful that I was able to realize what I was missing in my life. I know that I have so many wonderful adventures coming my way. I love my Savior, I love my family and my friends. I am so excited to move back home and create memories with the wonderful family that I was blessed with!! I have 5 more weeks here on the island, and I know that it will fly by, and I will be home in no time. But let's be honest I am going to enjoy these last 5 weeks in paradise!

Thank you for sharing the journey with me!

Lots of Love,

Jay.


A few of my favorite churchy things right now.



http://www.ldsliving.com/Don-t-Miss-This-Hauntingly-Beautiful-Come-Thou-Fount-If-You-Could-Hie-to-Kolob-Mashup/s/81236?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=social_button

https://youtu.be/l70e1TfN34w

“He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.” —Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Living the Gospel Joyful

Hurricane Season, Ambisinister, fun times, oh and I was followed....EEKS!

Hello there and greetings from the beautiful island, Grand Cayman.

It is currently the worst part of  hurricane season, which basically means everyone abondons the hotel and goes on all these crazy vacations to exotic places, some which I have never even heard of or couldn't even point to it on a map. Props to them for going to all these crazy places. 

I have never really heard of a hotel having an off season and on season and so forth. BUT apparently when it is off season, everyone takes 6 weeks or longer and travels. Pretty nifty if you ask me. It is just weird to hear people say, " Hey you coming back next season?" uhh... this is your job right? I sure hope you are coming back. CRAZY 

The sad part about it is that friends leave, and some even transfer. One of the first people I met here, Luciana, is taking her cute family to the island of Puerto Rico for their next adventure. I am so happy for them , but I am going to miss them so much!

From left to right we got the mexican, the 1/2 mexican, the Proper Indonesian and then Luciana the Argentinian

As previously stated, it is currently the worst, roughly, 6 weeks of hurricane season. They form like crazy  in the ocean. We just had a bad storm that was from Erica. It thunderstormed like I have never seen before and the lightning was insane! I was in my bed and would jump because the lightning was so bright, it would light up my room. CRAZY. I have learned to love the rain though. Ive never really been in a thunderstorm where it is still 90 degrees and humid outside. Pretty fun stuff if you ask me. 

I do have to say, how much I appreciate our pastry team. They put up with my crazy music and singing, and my jokes that aren't even that funny. They put up with my sass, and are even sassy back. I love  being able to work in an enviroment where everyone enjoys what they do, and for the most part everyone gets along, but most importantly I can be myself.

Team building exercise. P.S I HATE BEING BLINDFOLDED

"Hey Jay look at the camera please!"

I have currently been doing Seven service. I start at 2 and dont get off until like 11:30. this shift is making me feel OLD. I am not a night person, and I get so tired. But on the plus side I get to plate fun desserts, and make cool truffles. Got to look for the good in everything eh? 

Bourbon Caramel and Chocolate Banana Truffles

Funfetti and Lemon Raspberry Truffles

Lemon Tart for our Restaurant on property Seven

Staying on the topic of work. So I never really learned this about myself until my dear friend Michael pointed it out. Michael is the one from Indonesia who Is my favorite to impersonate because he is the most proper speaker I know and uses all these fancy words. He gets really sick of me, but hey he is a really good sport! Anyways,  I guess I drop things more often than normal people do. My chef usually tells us the daily word of the day and one time it was Ambisinister. Your probably wondering what it means, right? Well she said she looked it up and my picture was there. Funny huh? Well it actually means clumsy with two hands.  So now not only am I the jokester in the kitchen, I am now described as ambisinister. Hey as long as people are enjoying their time at work and aren't hating their life, I would say I am doing my job!

It was a rough day on the job. First the quiche filling and then Financier. AYE KARUMBA

One thing I have gotten back into is running. I absolutely love it because it is a perfect way to start off my day, and it really clears my mind. I usually run to work which is why I have no crazy bus stories for you this time. Some days I get really ambitious and run 13 miles or any distance over my normal 4.5 miles. Some days I go with my coworrker who is also a great friend, Vickie! She is Caymanian, and is shy at first but she is awesome and is very talented when it comes to being in the kitchen!  

I also usually  snapchat it so go ahead and judge I don't really care 

That's Vickie and she laughs at all my jokes.

Okay enough rambling, Now to the part that you actually probably wanted to hear about from the title of this post....

On the topic of running, I did have a little bit of a frightning thing happen one day. I was running, obviously, and a guy on a bike rode past me but stopped in hopes that I would talk to him. First off, mama taught me not to talk to strangers, and second off, I am in the middle of a run and don't really want to stop and chat. so I kept running only to have this feeling to turn around. I did, and he was RIGHT BEHIND ME on his bike. I then put on my speedy rocket shoes and  ran real fast. I turned around every so often and yep, he was still there. I then got my pepper spray out and was ready just in case anything happened. I continued to run faster than normal, and yep, he was still there. But he was trying to do the whole let me hide behind a tree and see if she notices that I am still creepily following her. Yes, random guy, yes I do notice that you are following me. LUCKILY, after about two miles, mind you this was probably the fastest two miles I have ever ran in my life, I got to a busy part of the island and he turned around and went back on his way. Exciting stuff huh? Mom if your reading this, I am safe and now have 911 on speed dial. 

On Happier terms, it was my sisters birthday this past week! I can't wait until the day we can all celebrate it together, but for now Jessica has to party it up in heaven and in spirit with us while we celebrate here!

I surprised Jen with a birthday trip to MIAMI, so I am looking forward to spending some quality sister time with her at the end of October! Jen has been my best friend and has stuck by my side through thick and thin. She is always there for me and gives tthe best advice. I can't wait to give her this amazing trip that she so deserves! I made her this video and if you feel so inclined to watch it, here is the link! https://youtu.be/2Rtf5Yb0Iu8

In the end, life is pretty amazing here, and I am so blessed to be pursuing my dream. I have wonderful friends, and a great support system back home. I couldnt ask for better friends and family. I of course miss my niece, my family, and friends, but I am truly grateful for this opportunity that I have to be living on an island, being able to learn more about myself and be able to get a little bit out of my comfort zone!

I love this quote that I found. I have so much to learn from my past and mistakes that I have made. I am grateful for the trials and troubles that I have been through because they give me a base and they give me something to learn from. I am so excited for my future and for what lies ahead. But in the end it is most important to remember that the present time is NOW. Make the most of it, and don't hold back. Dream, wish, hope. Follow your dreams, I wouldn't be where I am today if I listened to some people who didnt think Culinary Arts was a good future. I had  this dream to work in the Caymans and now here I am. You are never too young or too old to start living your dreams. Have the faith, step out of your comfort zone, and I promise beautiful things can happen! 

Much Love, 

Jay.

3 months down, forever to go! (just Kidding Mom)

                                        Hello! And greetings from Grand Cayman!

I cant believe its already been a whopping three months on this beautiful island I get to call home for a while! ( Don't worry Mom "A While" is probably a lot longer than you are actually thinking *Cue Sarcasm*) Choosing to come to this Island has been the hardest but best decision I have ever made in my life, I am starting to discover who I am as a person, and I am really starting to truly love myself, which was something that has always been hard for me. I thought I would start blogging my experiences, I think my sister is really tired of all my crazy stories, so as a result she told me to blog about them. So here I am.

For starters, the bus system here is crazy! You know those big white kidnapping vans that everyone is scared of, or is that just me? Anyways that would be what the local bus system picks you up in. And trust me there have been a handful of times where I have feared for my life. Bus Drivers could care less about anyone on the road, or the speed limit. I have almost flew off my seat a good couple times. Oh and I had a bus driver run over 3 chickens! It was awful. One bus driver complimented me on my Maxi Dress which was very nice of him, but then proceeded to tell me that he loves when girls wear maxi dresses because it keeps the mind wondering whats underneath it. Appreciate the modesty, but uh a little creepy if you ask me. I got off as soon as possible.

 One thing I have really started enjoying again is running! I love getting up and running before work, and starting your day off right! Okay a little preface, the "islanders" are a very forward people. They do not hold back on what their mind is thinking. Which can be flattering... or really creepy. I have debated sending some of them to BYU Idaho to help the male population up their with how to deal with their feelings.  ( Just kidding boys, you all are great!) Anyways back to running.  Its great to go running, but I could do without the bikers riding by staring, or the guys driving by, or some of the lovely comments that are made. Fine ill just say it, I was BLESSED with a booty. I know that. Stare all you want and make all the comment you want creepers. In the end exercising is a great way to relieve some stress and make you feel good about yourself, at least that's why I do it!

Also when I go on runs, I stumble across dead iguanas, and run past them, then think to myself, "That thing could have rabies, but it is also a very good photo opportunity." So basically I risked my life for the picture, Sometimes you just have to do things for the picture guys. Anyways I have enjoyed running and being healthy.  It really does make a difference with how you feel about yourself. I have noticed a huge difference, and it just makes me a happier person, and lets face it, who doesn't want to be happy!

Okay can I just say one thing here. BEING  NICE DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM FLIRTING. I always gave my best friend Shay a hard time about this because I always thought her being nice to everyone just came off as being flirty. But turns out she's just being nice. Well jokes on me because it is backfiring. I would like to think I am a nice person. But being nice to this culture they take it as " oh hey you like me". No, no I don't I am just being nice. Inviting you to things, or complimenting you or joking with you is what I do with my friends, because I thought thats what friends do, but maybe here that means your interested in someone. Ay Yi Yi.  Culture difference.. what to do what to do. Also a side note, it is not okay to invite a girl to drinks when you are married, or tell a girl that she is the most beautiful person you have ever laid eyes on, when your girlfriend works in the same hotel! Flattering but this is why us girls have TRUST issues people! 

A conversation from work:

Him: "Hey we have to go get drinks sometime"

Me: "I dont drink"

Him: "Not even soda...juice?"

Me: "I like water"

Him: "Well we could still go out and you can have water"

Now this could have gone two ways , what I wanted to say was, "Sure, i'll go, is your wife coming too?"  But instead I just laughed and went on my way.

It really is cool that I live in a place with so many different cultures, I feel so cultured! Like I have a coworker, Michael . He is teaching me all these cool replacement words. Like Chips are called crisps and fries are called chips. mind blown! Or other fun words like, Utterly, sublime, marvelous and so many more! Or  how they call it a cinema instead of the movie theaters, film instead of movie. He is so proper. I tend to laugh and make fun of his use of words, and talk in a different accent and try but horribly fail to immitate him,  but really its quite fasicnating!  Hearing people talk to eachother in other languages has been fasicanting. Like putting 4 french men in a kitchen, oh my word. There is a running joke in the kitchen that whenever someone talks in a different language I try to immitate them, but instead I just go "blahblublublahbluhblah" and then everyone laughs. You guys, you have to find ways to make work extra fun. You have to have a good attitutde. You spend more than 40 hours a week at work so enjoy it, let loose, and make it an enjoyable place that you look forward to going to. 

 

These are some of my coworkers Ana and Michael. We like to joke and have fun, and be sassy with eachother. But they are two of my best friends here, and I am so grateful for them, and dealing with me says a lot about them! AKA they are patient. Ana is Mexican and she is HILARIOUS. Half the time she is swearing in Spanish, and she likes to tell people off in Spanish even though they know not one word of Spanish. Michael as explained above is one of the most proper people I have met but he can be SASSY. But it's all in fun. He also has clearly pointed out that I drop EVERYTHING... something I didn't know about myself.  Anyways we took this picture at work and it was a HIT! Everyone was talking about it. People from work even copied are picture. They didn't do quite as well, but it was flattering and maybe next time they could do it just as good as we did. 

This is our Pastry team. As you can tell we are a cultured bunch! We have people from all over! Indonesia, Mexico, Argentina, the states, locals, people from the Middle East, France, seriously it is one of the coolest things ever. They are great and they allow me to be corky, crazy self, and they laugh at my jokes, even when they probably aren't that funny. I am kind  of known as the joker in the kitchen. I usually try to tell my Chef and some corworkers one joke or funny story a day. And they laugh, even though sometimes you can tell they are like "Jaylene that isn't funny, and its more of a sympathy laugh, I still very much appreciate it! Anyways, great great people, all of them! 

Where does a rabbit go when it loses its tail and needs a new one? to a RETAIL store. No, not funny? Well I thought it was hilarious when I heard it so.... 

Aside from all this, I am still very much enjoying my time in the kitchen. I work with so many talented individuals. 

Of course there are a ton more stories, and a lot more memories to share, but this is long enough. I truly am happy, and I love being here on this small island.  I have come to understand the culture little by little. It is a big challenge and a scary thought to move away from everything that you are comfortable with to come to an island where you don't know a single person. It's hard, I miss my family and friends, but like I said in the beginning, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I am not only expanding my knowledge in the pastry world, but I am growing as a person, and I am starting to realize things that I have never realized before. so as scary as it can be, follow your dreams, take risks, move away from your comfortable life, and I promise you, the reward will be great. 

If I may leave with one little word of wisdom. 

This is something that I am truly  trying my hardest to live by. Life is hard, there are people that you disagree with, there are people who get on your nerves, but if you flip it, you probably get on peoples nerves too. I am sure there are plenty of people that don't agree with me, or that I get on their nerves.  We are all human, but what I do know is that we can do our best at spreading love and happiness to everyone, not just those we like. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, everyone deserves to see your best self. So be happy, smile, and enjoy this crazy thing called life. 

Much love from the Caymans, 

Jay

Life is a precious thing.

My life has been a whirlwind lately. So much has been happening, and so much of it still seems too good to be true.

1. I have a beautiful new niece. Brynlee Kae Ponce was born January 28th, and is the most perfect, precious baby. I no longer have be to the 9th wheel at family outings, because she makes our family 10, which means I now have a sidekick. score!

 2. We recently changed our menu at the Ritz Carlton Marina Del Rey. I am in love with the new plate-ups and I have enjoyed learning so much.

 3. My new thing lately has been wearing lipstick and I don't know why, but I am loving it.

 4. I am still preparing for my big move out of the country. I didn't realize how much paperwork and appointments you have to go through to leave the country. When people ask why I am leaving the country, I tell them I am sick of Obama, so I am leaving. Okay that's a joke, so don't take it personally. I very much love being an American, but I am so ready to embark on this new adventure. It is a scary thing, but I am so ready to live in paradise.

 5. I love going to the beach on my off days lately. And luckily me and Shay had the same day off, so we took advantage and went to Manhattan Beach and soaked up some sun.

And last but not least, a little bit of advice from a 21 year old who is just trying to make this world  full of turmoil and temptation a little bit of a more beautiful place to be, I have realized that life is too short to do anything but follow your dreams and goals. Just do it. Be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. Treat people with respect, smile, love unconditionally, and dream.

Why I am deciding to move to another country.

No this isn't a joke, yes I am moving to another country.

 As a young girl, I have always been one to set goals, and I always was one to dream big. Well, I have always had this one crazy dream. To work in the Ritz Carlton- Grand Cayman. Yeah... that was never going to happen.

I went to the Grand Caymans a little over a year ago, and fell in love with the property, the atmosphere, and the 22 x 4 mile island. One day while swimming in the ocean, I looked at the Ritz Carlton property, and said to myself  "One day, I am going to work there". That has always been my dream.

About 2 weeks ago I talked to the executive chef of that property. He asked me to apply for a position on their pastry team. I did, and about a week later I found myself interviewing with the Executive Pastry chef. Fast forward to yesterday, when I got an email saying that he was offering me the position. Okay, pinch me, this isn't happening.

I was at work when I got the email offering me the position, and I just started crying. (I cry a lot, so it didn't surprise me). I didn't know what to do. Like, this couldn't be happening. I called my family, text close friends, and now here I am still not believing that this is real.

So here is to the weeks ahead, filling out work visa information, getting tests done, and purchasing a one way ticket to none other, than the Grand Caymans. (Well as long as my work visa goes through.)

I seriously cannot thank my Heavenly Father enough for giving me this opportunity. I am so excited to be able to learn and to grow, and expand my talents. I am so blessed. I can't thank my Savior enough.

Working in another country is going to be hard work, it isn't going to be easy. There are 10 nationalities just on the pastry team. This Ritz Carlton, is one of the brands show-off properties. I am leaving my family in California. I am leaving a new niece, (who should be born any day),and some very good friends. But, I am following my dream, and the home sickness, and missing my family and friends will be worth it, at least I hope so!.

You guys, I am saying this from the bottom of my heart. Follow your dreams. Set goals. It doesn't matter how young, old, realistic, unrealistic the goal or dream is. Set it,  work for it and never give up. It doesn't matter if you don't think you are qualified, it may not pay enough, people may think you are crazy, don't think your good enough,whatever negative reasoning it may be, STOP IT.. Hard work, determination, a love for what you do, a passion for your career, can take you much further in life and bring incredible amount of happiness.. Please, everyone, just dream a little.

p.s. it still doesn't feel real.

Dream Big.

Growing up we are not always taught to follow our dreams, but rather to follow this crazy path that the world has told us we should follow.

From the time I was a little girl, baking has always been my passion. It's my escape, it;s what can put a smile on my face. Growing up I was faced with the question, is becoming a baker going to help provide for a family one day? After some thinking, I decided to put that dream away and I had my eyes on becoming a teacher. Really?  A teacher, I HATE public speaking. In the end I fell into this trap and thought that teaching was just what I was going to do. After being in college for probably a month, I realized one very important thing. MY dream, was to be a baker. I absolutely loved every aspect of it. As fun as teaching could possibly have been, it wasn't my dream. And for those of you that know me, you should know that I truly believe in following your dreams.

Choosing to follow my dream has had its challenges. I've had my fair share of people telling me that what I wanted to do was unrealistic, not possible, and not really the smartest decision. To those of you who said this, thank you. Thank you for pushing me harder to achieve my wildest dream.

I graduated college at 20. I got my 4 year Bachelor's degree in 2.5 years. Some may not have agreed with my decision to "Rush" through college, but if I didn't, I couldn't stand here and say that at the age of 21 I have my dream job. I work at the Ritz Carlton in Marina Del Rey, in none other, than the pastry department. Some dream of what their 'dream' job may consist of, but I am lucky and blessed enough to say that I get to do what I love 40+ hours a week. 

So what does this mean to you? It means to follow your dreams. Do what makes YOU happy. Some would rather go where the money is, but in the end money can only take you so far. Your happiness and well being will take you so much further. We are given one life, one chance to get it right. So why do so many of us think that we shouldn't follow our dream, but rather be tempted to follow the path where the money is? Is that going to bring you lifelong happiness? If it is, well congrats, you are one of the lucky few. 

Live your dream. Don't let anyone stop you. Ever.

-Jay